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Sometimes in the middle of the night, I wonder if God hates me. It’s dark, and the difficulty just doesn’t seem to let up. Please don’t explain to me that’s not true. I know God doesn’t hate me. In the morning, after my coffee and bible reading, my soul reorients to true north, and I’m embarrassed by my night-time rantings. But they are a valid part of it. Even King David said in a lament, “What good am I to you dead? “ My translation, “I’ve kinda had it, could you please let up a bit God?”

Our own Anne-Marie Heckt published a beautiful piece for SheLoves Magazine.com.

Isaiah 29:17-19

17 In just a very short time
Lebanon will turn into an orchard,
and the orchard will be considered a forest.
18 At that time the deaf will be able to hear words read from a scroll,
and the eyes of the blind will be able to see through deep darkness.
19 The downtrodden will again rejoice in the Lord;
the poor among humankind will take delight in the Holy One of Israel.

Life in the Bud

Life in the Bud

A writer in my critique group has a delightful character named Nicholas in her children’s book. He’s a bug who loves to spin on his shell and drives everyone crazy with his jumping about. When his sister is just about fed up, he jumps up and yells, “Ta da!”

This time of year, with the early dark and the late dawn, life can feel heavy and slow. We’re often pinned indoors. Many people work long hours so they may never see the sun or get outside while it’s above the horizon. It can be discouraging.

I love to examine the shrubs in Winter. From inside they don’t look like much, but when you get up close you can see life swelling along the branches. Camellias especially have fat, swollen buds of the most vibrant green (with pink, white and red blossoms furled inside). If not blossoms, you can see the small pods on branches that will unfold into a haze of leaves once the days lengthen: Spring’s “Ta Da!” The life is in there, ready for the right conditions, protected. In the mean time, the plants will rest, store energy, and deepen their root systems so they can sustain the display when it’s time.

The Jews of Palestine must have been very discouraged as they waited in the long winter of silence before the unfurling of God’s blossom: Jesus. But there were small signs – a word, a gift, a revelation or saving action given by God along the way. The buds were swelling on the branch for those who watched closely.

Let us wait in hope, attentive. It’s dark outside, but the stage is set. Soon, there will be angels, fanfare, a birth! Heaven’s unfurling, God’s “Ta Da!”

Coming early

What kind of a "king" are we looking for?

What have we built or destroyed with our words?

By: Kristi Trainer

This year I have known hunger like never before.  Not starvation certainly, no; but as I have worked to shed 60 pounds, the gnawing and unrelenting emptiness of a stomach that hasn’t had it’s fill has been my constant companion and countless nights I’ve laid my head on the pillow feeling hollow, telling myself if I sleep I won’t feel hungry anymore.  I dream of food . . .

Truthfully, I hate being hungry.  I hate the desperation I feel when I can’t eat.  I hate that I get crabby and impatient.  I hate that my mind can’t seem to focus on anything except food. Inevitably I find myself fantasizing about decadent meals and tempting snacks.  At times the cravings have been so intense I’ve wept tears of frustration.  Ohh how I long for the salty-crunchy-goodness of warm buttery popcorn, especially if accompanied by a tart, crisp green apple and a chilled glass of creamy Chardonnay?  A bowl of sweet, cold, velvety ice cream studded with chocolate and finished with a rich peanut butter swirl?  Heck!  I’d even settle for chocolate chips right out of the bag!  I’ve fought bitterness and envy watching others eat what they want, when they want, while I’ve gone without.

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How much do I waste? With what I waste, who could I feed?

Is it just stuff or is it more than that?

Flying Along

Entering this first full week of Lent, where am I moving so fast that the lines are blurred and I can’t see the road very well?

What is enabling me to move this fast?

What keeps me from slowing down?